It’s been the 8th day of the new year, my mind’s in blank. All I can say is what the fish is my resolutions last year? Has it been an illusion to me? Or I’ve been cheating myself the last one year? Seriously, I do not know.I just want myself to be as healthy as I am now, free myself for all those stressful things I had gotten myself into the previous year.
Well, least got myself off a rather abusive relationship that sustained for 15 months. It drained off me so much that I almost thought my depression is coming to to find me again. I didn’t expect that a person I thought I would foresee myself would stack lies on top of lies, cheated and be such a “money digger”. Legit almost what I’ve earn on that period was paying most of his basic needs while he stayed home “finding jobs”cause he is been choosing. Got jealous over my guy friends cause we are co-workers or my ex-classmates are also not so cool. Apparently things got pretty much ugly and lies are too big to cover up, things just have to end up. Not saying that I am not at fault. I believed that all relationships, the both party have responsibility of maintaining it, he didn’t try to maintain, I tried hard to get it rowing. I was too lenient, I actually believed and trusted he won’t do bad, idiot shits to me. Good thing, it’s over.
Seeing myself in a past year, not much changes actually. Maybe more mature, maybe more knowing that what types of guy I want for life, maybe I should celebrate that I’m off limits of the anti depressions medicines for two years now. Seeing myself back on track is a good thing, I am actually trying to work hard to get myself in a better spot and in a place to find myself a better man to entrust myself to when I needed to. Actually, 7 months off the past relationship, I am pretty much ready to accept a new relationship and move on. But well, I shall not rush it though, goo things are worth the wait, especially when you know you have worked hard for it to happens.
2017, I hope it will be a better year. No resolutions. I just hoped those around me have great health and a peaceful year. Hope you all have a great year ahead too!