It have been years of me dealing with it, don’t know why, I can’t really overcome it. Especially after the happening of my mental health problem, I do have an irritation fear of meeting people for a job. Not that I have fear meeting people but I don’t really good in expressing myself to others on the “first” meet.
Apparently, I just rejected a job offer that someone had introduce to me, got me unto the fast lane and I got scared, very scared. Already had the idea of rejecting way before the interview was settled and was scolded by parents that I wasting the chance to get unto a good job etc. The problem of me is, I dislike the fact that I have to rely on others to get a job, secondly, I hate it when if my conducts are slightly bad and slack off, the one whom actually offered me to go to the job will be blamed cause it happened to me before and I hate that I owes someone a debt of gratitude. And yup, I rejected secretly and it got busted AND got a big nagging and scolding session that causes my mood to swing in a bad turn the past two days even knowing that my parents cared for me.
Even though that it is hard to find a job that I might love it now, I kind of hope that I don’t go for much interviews for job seeking. I knew that it is easy for me to adapt to new environment easily but the fear of the interview session actually makes me feel so uneasy. Had thought of making blog and/or vlogs as a source of income but doubt it will works as easy as I thought of. it might be even more stress then getting a job then HAHAHA.
I just pray I’ll get a job that is stress-free and have a good prospect. Don’t even mind the money is slightly lesser then expected lol.