Farewell, Chester.

There was this one time where I’m holding a pen knife against my wrist, almost cutting it off at some random place while listening to radio so I won’t die lonely in a sense. 

And this song came up out of the sudden:

“The cycle repeated
As explosions broke in the sky
All that I needed
Was the one thing I couldn’t find

And you were there at the turn
Waiting to let me know

[Chorus:]
We’re building it up
To break it back down
We’re building it up
To burn it down
We can’t wait
To burn it to the ground

The colors conflicted
As the flames climbed into the clouds.
I wanted to fix this
But couldn’t stop from tearing it down.

And you were there at the turn
Caught in the burning glow
And I was there at the turn
Waiting to let you know

[Chorus:]
We’re building it up
To break it back down
We’re building it up
To burn it down
We can’t wait
To burn it to the ground

You told me, “Yes”
You held me high
And I believed when you told that lie
I played soldier, you played king
And struck me down, when I kissed that ring
You lost that right, to hold that crown
I built you up, but you let me down
So when you fall, I’ll take my turn
And fan the flames
As your blazes burn

And you were there at the turn
Waiting to let me know

[Chorus:]
We’re building it up
To break it back down
We’re building it up
To burn it down
We can’t wait
To burn it to the ground

When you fall, I’ll take my turn
And fan the flames
As your blazes burn

We can’t wait
To burn it to the ground

When you fall, I’ll take my turn
And fan the flames
As your blazes burn

We can’t wait
To burn it to the ground”

That distinct voice, that distinct rhythm made me dropped the pen knife and find for help. Tears keep running down at the place where I almost killed myself before I move out. I had finally know the meaning of “music will save your life.” 

This song still follows me when I’m almost there to give up. But never do I expect that it will also be the same reason that will take the vocalist of that band whom saved me from leaving is gone, for the same reason. Suicide. 

Tears immediately caught up as quickly as I confirmed the news. I cried hard. I felt so down. I just can’t accept the fact that I will never hear from him again. It is a news that is extremely difficult to accept the fact of this sudden passing. 

All I can hope now is that he will be free on the other side. Free from this scary illness of depression. 

To Linkin Park, especially Chester Bennington, I have to thank you for giving me a reason to move on, I have to thank you for making such amazing music to change my life and many others too. It will be a hard time for all of us, especially to the remaining members of Linkin park. Although you might not be able to see my post (since there are so much more in so many other places and they are better posts), I do not mind. But I am grateful over it. Please stay strong together. 

To Chester Bennington, please rest in peace. You will be deeply loved and missed not just your family and friends, also the fans all around the world. Thank you so much for being such a wonderful person that I can look up to. 

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